I heard we made out
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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