God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
