and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
