In the future we'll all be gay
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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