After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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