The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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