I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Pants are for mortals
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize