my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
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She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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