The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
