I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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