So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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