I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
