So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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