Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
