not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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