Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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