what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
