we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
