i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
