And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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