I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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