Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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