She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
