When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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