Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
