everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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