I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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