I'm gonna have a badass scar
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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