Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
foreskin is a definite game changer
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
