I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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