I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
