Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
