he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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