I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
