Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
