Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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