I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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