The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
