yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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