I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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