If i come over, it means nothing
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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