Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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