thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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