i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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