You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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