we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
