I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
