i think my mom watched the whole time
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
