so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Everything about him screamed your future.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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