he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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