If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
