Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
