so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
