Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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