He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
