ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
