are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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