I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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