Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
