I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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