I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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