she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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