Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
